HIV stigma and safer sex

Through my experience online with gay dating and sex sites I've noticed that people often specify "safer sex only" and also specify that their partner should be HIV negative.  Yes, on the surface this can make some logical sense--you're both supposedly negative and using a condom so you'll hopefully stay negative. But, what's the purpose of the condom?  If you're going to use one (properly) either way it shouldn't actually matter what anyone's status is.

What does come into play though is stigma.  Stigma towards HIV. People are scared shitless of it. It's still seen as a death sentence by many and infection rates are still on the rise in many areas.  But being scared of HIV is not going to solve the problem.  Remember the SILENCE = DEATH message HIV/AIDS activists were screaming from the rooftops in the 80s?  Well that still applies but so does STIGMA or FEAR = DEATH. We're not going to get much further ahead if we're still making HIV positive people feel less-than, othered, different, diseased, or deadly.  In fact, I would go as far to liken this stigma with bullying which, as we've seen more so in recent years, can lead to suicide.

So, FYI, when a condom is going to be used the guy's cum who's fucking will not enter the other guy's ass, therefore no potential HIV virus will either.  Condoms are 99.9% effective against HIV infection.  The only reason they're not 100% effective is because people use them improperly sometimes--not enough lube, too much lube, old condoms, two condoms, improper wearing of it, etc. You can also check the condom half way through to be sure.

For more information on HIV/AIDS, STIs, and other sexual health topics please consult a professional and/or see these websites:

• Health Initiative for Men (HIM -- Vancouver, BC)
• Options for Sexual Health (British Columbia)
• Planned Parenthood (United States)