Thursday, January 27, 2011
Bathhouses are maligned by many both within and outside the gay community. With the realities of HIV/AIDS and STIs there are many legitimate concerns people should have about bathhouses. Their chief purpose, after all, is to serve as a semi-private venue for gay male sex, often anonymous sex. The concerns are obvious.
What I've never heard of in the arguments against bathhouses are the purposes for their existence. Bathhouses serve many different functions for different people. Some patrons go to seek anonymous sex, some for the atmosphere, others with their partner's, and some people actually use them as cheap accommodation when travelling. The main concern is with sex. Bathhouses provide the perfect venue for closeted, married, or shy men to fulfill their sexual desires or express and enjoy their sexuality.
To deduce, the problem is then not with the bathhouse but with the closed minded, ignorant, homophobic asses in the greater public. If society were accepting and encouraging of diversity and sexual expression the need for bathhouses would be far less than it is now. Gay/bi men married to women would no longer have to live their lives in the closet in fear of any consequences they feel may occur should anyone find out--they wouldn't need to cheat on their wives with men.
Bi men married to women should have every right to have sex with men too. Why? Because their wives should be accepting of their sexual orientation. And gay men married to women should feel safe enough to be themselves and pursue a relationship with the gender and sex of their greatest liking. However, I'm sure most gay/bi men married to women aren't open about their sexual attractions to men with their wives for various reasons (fear of divorce, job loss/issues, image, cultural expectations, etc.). These women wouldn't need to worry so much about their husband's health if they accepted their lust for cock and allowed them to openly have safer male sexual relations.
So, to those who hate bathhouses: it's probably your own damn fault they exist.
P.S. -- I'm an openly gay man in a wonderful relationship (coming up on two years!)... and I've been to a bathhouse with my partner. It was fun. Not ALL people who go to bathhouses are seeking a secret sexual outlet.