My blog has been neglected throughout the summer, well, I neglected my blog in all reality. The reason: I'm a workaholic and travelled all summer for work and a bit for myself. This does not mean I haven't been wrestling with an annoying heteronormative world; it means I haven't had enough personal time to partake in my cathartic blog writing. Now to the juicy post on sex!
When someone even says the word sex in public someone is bound to scowl in their general direction, especially in Alberta. Its a taboo subject for many reasons: we don't want people to know what dirty things get us off and we want to seem modest, just to name a couple generalizations. But visual representations of sex are around us all the time. For example, billboards with hot half naked men (or women), colognes or scents advertised to attract the opposite or same sex, scantily or provocatively dressed people, expressions of love (kisses or pinches), and even things like car ads referring to vehicles as sexy. But we still have a hard time talking directly about sex yet we feel comfortable to be surrounded by images of sex.
The discourse of sex as one which, on the surface, seeks to limit public discussion of sex actually fails and is harmful. Michel Foucault, a wonderful social theorist, has argued that we actually talk about sex a lot by not talking about it. He say's we have never been sexually repressed, rather we've been talking about it and doing it the entire time. If you want to read a much better and more complete (yet still grossly over summarized) version of Foucault's thoughts on sexuality, go here.
What's really detrimental to many peoples' health is the result of this way in which we relate to and deal with the topic of sex. Sex education in public schools is definitely not mandatory in Alberta and from what I remember is strongly encouraged in British Columbia (where I went to grade school). Learning about sex should be mandatory in all schools! Everyone will eventually experience sex in some regard, whether that be in their pants or through a friend. People should be taught how to be safe, how and why to use birth control, and most importantly how to be healthy. Not only will this help make people be happier sexual beings but it opens the door to exploring their sexuality and lets them explore and learn who they.
Sexually conservative people who do not want their children to attend sex education classes as they really don't want their children to have sex until their married, or never, is just stupid! First, they don't teach their kids about sex in hopes it won't happen. Second, the child, a boy for this example, realizes he has this wonderful feeling thing in his pants and starts to notice other people as sexually attractive (no amount of god can stop this!). Third, the boy may then act upon his attraction/desire. Fourth, a little conservative christian girl might get knocked up. The problem here is those sexually conservative bigots who didn't send their daughter to sex ed class so she wouldn't have sex did have sex and got pregnant, but they also don't like abortions. Now their stuck with a baby. Great. This alone should be enough of an argument to institute mandatory sexual health education; however, the stupid conservative bigots in our legislature, schools, and churches won't let that happen.
Attraction to both the same and opposite sex should also be taught in a formal manner to children when they are most receptive and likely to develop their own understandings of the world. They should be taught that boys can love girls, boys can love boys, girls can love girls, and it doesn't matter where either partner is from or what her/his cultural or religious background is. I'm not saying this because I'm a bitchy homosexual who doesn't put up with homophobia, but rather as someone who wants to simply see everyone able to love anyone regardless of sex, race, or gender. If we ALL want to be happy we all need complete freedom to love who we want (being a homo pisses off so many religious douche bags, so if they had no reason to get angry about it then they would be happy too!). Have I mentioned that I'm an atheist? well, I am :).
I propose, especially for us sexual minorities, that we all be loud and proud, even about our sexuality. No, this does not mean wearing a shirt saying I like anal sex or something, it means not being afraid to publicly display your affection for your parter and being proud. Who the hell cares what Joe Farmer thinks about your or my love?! He probably bangs his sheep at night. We should also ensure that our children, nephews, nieces, and our friend's kids are taught about sex. Less bigotry = more happiness. Less bigotry = less abortions.
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