New Job! and a bit of a rant

Ok so, I quite possibly got the best part time job, EVER! It's for a company that does fundraising for various non-faith based charities! It pays well, the people are really nice, and I think its going to be rewarding. My only concern with this job is the economic slowdown, people need money to donate money...

Now the bit of a rant. Lately I've just been thinking about everything like jobs, careers, school, and dating. I like the way things are going yet cannot help worrying about the future. RAWR. RAWR. And also on this thinking about things, I'm never shy to show my emotions or what I'm thinking... well usually. But it just irritates the hell out of me how masculinity is constructed so that males are encouraged to mask their emotions in an effort to seem strong or whatever. ITS FUCKING ANNOYING!!! It always bothers me when I'm dating someone, its almost like I try to reach some sort of gender role equilibrium where I manage to maintain SOME sense of masculinity yet still show affection, caring, and all that shit for my partner. I dunno, maybe I just need to relax and be myself, maybe I just need to find that right "one" and I won't worry about "gender roles."