Fun times

I flew back to the small town I'm from yesterday and today got to hang out with one of my BFF's. IT WAS SO FUN! We drove around and shared fables of psycho dates, fruitful nights at the club, and I got somewhat caught up on the small town gossip. It is our ritual to go on a drive to a town 40 mins north of mine to get Wendy's Frosty's... SO GOOD. This little ritual got started about 3 years ago when we decided to randomly take the LONG LONG route (6 hours) to the Wendy's for Frosty's. I always look forward to the Frosty adventure when I come home :)

We also did a gift exchange, my BFF got me cranium and I got her some towels... we both got what we wanted, YAY! And we watched Wanted with her BF and room mate, such a great movie. This BFF is basically the only person who I actually make sure I see when I come back "home" (where I'm from, there's nothing home like about this town). If it weren't for her, I would go completely insane and probably choke many a redneck bitch!

OHHHH its CHRISTMAS EVE in less than an hour... :)... not sure why I'm so excited, probably because the gifts and turkey which await. I can't wait to have my family over to my place for Christmas one year–when I actually have a nice place big enough to comfortably fit everyone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!

Queermas... aka Christmas

Oh Christmas... I've never been a really religious person, but like to partake in the festivities this time of year. Some things I like about Christmas are: family, friends, hot chocolate, candy canes, snow, Christmas lights and decorations, and gift giving (not in the HIV sense). And, some things I dislike about Christmas: materialism, consumerism, depression, spending too much money, extremely cold weather, and travelling.

I really really hate going "home" for Christmas. I don't feel welcome or safe in the small ghetto community that I'm from. I've always felt this way growing up too as I realized that I'm "different" than other boys. Once I moved to go to University, I had the space and freedom to explore myself and my sexuality. This move was two and a half years ago, now I am involved in the Queer community, interested in human rights, and very open about my sexual orientation. It has not been easy, but having this sense of freedom is amazing.

This sense of freedom, however, only exists when I am not back "home" where I feel unsafe, I am out to all my friends and family yet the horrible feeling of being unsafe remains. This being said, I love the holidays because I get to relax, give and receive gifts, and be with my family; but, these wonderful feelings are overridden with the not-so-welcoming atmosphere of my small town. When I get home the first day is nice, the rest of the time is spent counting down the days until I return to the city.

Another thing I dislike about Christmas is being single and alone. BLAH, this makes me sound so sappy and emo, maybe I am. I just fucking despise couples and EVERYTHING to do with them, I want to fucking piss in their hot chocolates I serve at Starbucks (but I don't because I might get fired). Ok, that was a little extreme, I wouldn't ACTUALLY do that or ever seriously entertain the idea of it. But its kind of how I feel. I just want to disappear until January 2nd, unless everything changes in the next few days...

Lastly, I never usually feel this alone, sad, and all that crap... just this time of year gets to me, like many other people I assume.

Bleeding Love

"And in this world of loneliness I see your face; yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy" -- Leona Lewis

Emo time. This is how I feel whenever I like or love a man... I see what I like and why, but many people disapprove. This results in anger and sadness at the same time. Keith Olbermann, in a response to the passing of prop 8, said he can't believe that some people want to take away anyone's chance at finding true love. Its these emotions that fuel my lust to make a positive difference in the world, and this is definitely not the easy way out.

Study Break

I'm taking a break from studying for finals. I thought I would do this little quiz to visually see "where I am" politically.
Politics Quiz

Social suicide/death

Ugh, finals... final projects... final papers... etc. I am now preparing to be dead to the world, no funeral required, this time. I must admit though, this bout of finals isn't THAT bad. I only have 3 written finals and one take home final paper. Although, the next week or so is going to nearly kill me.

On the upside, I'm LOVING my lovely black argyll sweater with shirt and tie, looking sharp for my meeting! Kind of sucks that I will be the only guy there though... no distractions at least :).

World AIDS Day

So today is World AIDS Day. Its about recognizing the stigma surrounding those who have HIV/AIDS, educating people about the disease, and remembering.  See the attached links for some more info's!

Anyway, I wore a red ribbon today :).  OH, I also got my mom to sign up for PFLAG, its been a good day. 

It's so important for everyone to get tested regularly and practice safer sex... you should watch this video, its a story about HIV/AIDS.

HIV Big Deal

World AIDS Campaign