Can we ever accept ourselves?

GLBT men and women have been campaigning for acceptance, equitability, and legal protections for decades.  Victories have been achieved: same sex marriages in some jurisdictions, legal protections, and social programs.  We still have very far to go with the world and ourselves.

Stories of gay bashings, homophobic slurs, mistreatment at work, and prejudice are too common.  An obviously homosexual male, especially in redneck Alberta, would inevitably be the subject of some torment (I can attest to this myself).  But its not just conservative, redneck, douche nozzles judging us—we do it ourselves too.

The gay community, which appears to stand in solidarity against homophobia, is deeply divided.  Want proof?  Go to a gay bar, any gay bar, and watch how people interact.  There is more often than not segregated groups of people with similar characteristics.  Twinks, bears, flamey gay guys, butch lesbians, and the more homely crowd.  Yeah, on the surface its nothing, its superficial—its just like high school!  But look closer, a community of oppressed and judged minorities is further judging its own members.  What the hell has gone wrong?  If we truly want acceptance from the world we need to learn to accept our community members for who they are and ourselves.

New Year's Resolutions and Societal Critiquing

With the New Year, and new decade, still freshly upon us were all reflecting on 2009 and the last decade.  I've read many articles outlining technological advancements, human rights victories and atrocities, and recounts of news highlights.  All this reflecting (some of which is really just media generated ideological crap) has me reflecting on how 2009 went for me and creating goals for 2010.  Many of these goals relate to material things like a new car and moving, however, there are things many of us should consider beyond material goals.  Yes, the recession has made many of us slide backwards financially, but in the end money does nothing for you when you're dead--its material.  My goals for 2010, materialism aside:

1.    Volunteer with at least three organizations, at least one in Vancouver.
2.    Attend at least three protest events relating to human rights and gay rights.
3.    Find three things to be happy about each day.
4.    Smile at and/or compliment three strangers each day.
5.    Eat healthier
6.    Eat a lot less meat

These goals aren't lofty, they're reasonably attainable and won't cost me anything, aside from buying healthier food.  I really want to build and continue to act upon my activist/advocate/social justice beliefs.  Being this is my last semester as an undergraduate student I'm now having to think of working full time and being a full time engaged, concerned, and actively involved citizen, a juggling act for many.  Upon graduation many students' social justice flame begins to flicker and is ultimately snuffed out by capitalism and materialism.  Were taught to be mindless, selfish, shit-purchasing sheep.

Ultimately we only have each other.  Money and possessions are secondary things which have the illusion of helping us live easier lives.  Yet there seems to be a never ending race to beat the Jones', to have the newest and best of everything.  Where have we gone wrong?  Again, none of this shit comes with us when we die.  In all reality our technology and goods have really damned us who can afford to purchase them and those who can't.  It's one big clusterfuck. We unconsciously exploit the third world for food and cheap labour so we can have one dollar hamburgers at McDonalds.

Another goal for 2010: don't go crazy with all the stupidity and injustices in the world, but rather make a positive difference.

I sincerely hope I don't become too jaded.

Holidays and Family

I would like to open this entry with wishing everyone a happy holiday season and fabulous New Year!

This time of year should be a time for family and friends--irregardless of ones religious affiliations as we have statutory holidays.  This one day, December 25, should bring everyone together.  We will probably never see complete world peace, but we can definitely do everything in our power to encourage it.  Many gays and lesbians are alienated from their families year round due to homophobia.  Some people talk of something called Christmas spirit where one is caring of others, giving, and jolly--oh how far from this we are as a society.

Through my own experiences volunteering at a GLBT centre and other non-profits I've witnessed and heard of so many heart breaking stories.  Many of these stories become realities as a result of ignorance, hate, and discrimination.  The injustices in this world really weigh me down sometimes.  I fight with feelings of wishing for apathy and a happily ignorant life and wanting to go out in the world and change it for the better.  Thank goodness its always the latter which occurs.

Walking around stores before Christmas is really eye opening as to how many of us in the West live.  People bitch and complain about not having much money to spend on gifts, especially this year with the economic shit hitting the fan.  Others complain about travelling during the holidays.  What most people have in common is selfishness.  Hundreds of people toting bags full of crap hurry by canvassers for humanitarianism.  Frankly, many of these people just don't give a rats ass about anyone else but themselves, maybe their families, and probably loved ones.  Its sad.

People in our own communities are hungry, have no shelter, face abuse at home, and have no gifts for Christmas.  Across the world people die of things like diarrhea, malaria, cholera, and child birth.  All of these plights can be easily remedied.  Ten to twenty five cents can save a life by curing diarrhea or cholera.  Re-directing three days of global military spending would put every child on earth in school.  If every privileged person donated even two percent of their income to worthy causes our world would be very different.  But wait, the new iPod just came out.

I'm guilty of being somewhat materialistic (I lloovvee my iPhone).  However, I'm a regular volunteer and supporter of charities.  For Christmas this year I wanted to get something meaningful for my boyfriend and I but we don't really need anything.  So while everyone else was too busy lugging their shopping bags full of shit past the canvassers I stopped and sponsored a child from Malawi.  His name is Noel.  Helping change someone's life is an amazing feeling and the best gift I've ever gotten or given.  One doesn't need to live a life completely devoid of luxuries, one just needs to think and care for others too.   Its really not that hard.  Sponsor a child or donate to a charity every month and eat out one or two times less per month.  Volunteer for a couple hours a month.  Smile, say thank you, and be friendly.

We have it really fucking good here in Canada.  Lets be mindful and helpful to those who are less fortunate.

A holiday greeting from my partner and I.

Disclaimer:  I am an atheist.  Christmas for me has NO religious/spiritual significance.  Its about family, friends, and love.

Ugandan Anti-Homosexual Bill

Recently I’ve changed my Twitter bio to say “common sense and human rights activist.” Sometimes, actually most often, I don’t understand people and governments’ lack of common sense. To me, and everyone I know, its common sense to treat everyone equitably regardless of superficial attributes such as skin color, sexuality, gender identity, and religion, just to name a few. At the end of the day were all people all trying to live our lives happily; but why do some people go out of their way to make other peoples’ lives hell?

What brought this to mind is the bill going through parliament in Uganda which would make homosexuality punishable by death (it’s already illegal punishable by jail sentence). Having sex with someone of the same sex is punishable by death and gay-like touching in public is punishable by a lengthy prison sentence. If this isn’t bad enough, the law if passed would also target non-homosexuals--anyone failing to report an incident within 24 hours would be punished.

Here’s a lovely quote from a sitting of the Ugandan parliament, not the bill debate, contextualizing the views of homosexuality in the realm of the government (and probably many citizens):

“If Government were to legalise marriage between men and men, and women and women, we would be talking about a threat to human civilisation. In such a marriage, either of two individuals decides to act as a husband or wife to the other. This situation is what is known as homosexuality or same-gender marriage.

Lately, Mr Speaker, some international groups and countries have been demanding that Uganda should legalise homosexuality. Those behind this abnormal, unhealthy, unnatural as well as illegal lifestyle have argued that doing so would be a human right and in defence of freedom. In Uganda, UNICEF, Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, Frontline Human Rights Defenders, and East and Horn of Africa Human Rights groups have been in the forefront of a campaign to legalise homosexuality.

The groups above have been assisted by local NGOs that depend on them for funding this propaganda among our population. In fact, ten years ago UNICEF helped in the funding and distribution of books to schools, which were unknown to the Ministry of Education and Sports, and they were popularising homosexuality. Following UNICEF's unwelcome intervention, I recently wrote to the Minister of Education and Sports to express our resentment of their promotion of illegality and called for a tough response that would curb such intrusions” (http://bit.ly/8AlPfQ).

First question, wtf?!?!?! Second, since when does one same sex partner have to act as the opposite sex equivalent of wife or husband? Third, how the hell does LOVE threaten human civilization? Aside from offering context, I wanted to include this quote as I’m thrilled to see so many NGO's taking up this issue (I’m a monthly Amnesty supporter!).

A Ugandan MP David Bahati introduced the bill and defends it saying, "homosexuality is not a human right. It is a foreign behaviour imported and promoted by people using the poverty in our country to expound bad behaviour" (Guardian.co.uk -- http://bit.ly/1QQmsJ).

This perplexes me. How has society come to view homosexuality this way? Homosexuality is a natural occurrence in every species, including about 1500 animal species (http://bit.ly/IanjC). I have news for you, Government of Uganda, the lions in your parks and on your savannahs are also homosexuals! It would be equal on the ridiculous-scale to propose a bill banning animal homosexuality and punishing it by death, maybe one already exists.

Women's Studies and Feminism

The goals of gender studies and feminism are related but very different, the former deconstructs and analyzes gender and the latter is a project to advance women’s rights and critique society— at least in my understanding. I’ve taken a number of courses on gender and am currently in my first, and probably only, Women’s Studies course. Why? Over generalization, pigeon-holing, heteronormativity, and stereotypes.

Women’s Studies 201: Introduction to Women’s Studies (University of Alberta). Very few men enrol in Women’s Studies; I always thought it was due to male machismo and the discounting of feminists as bra burning men haters. Well its not quite so. First, I don’t know of any man who completely discounts and detests feminism and Women’s Studies. Second, I’ve only ever heard a woman use the term bra burning men haters. And finally, men with over inflated masculine identities are just idiots (read: chest pounding apes), but this doesn’t mean anyone should be mean to them.

Feminism has an aura of activism, protest, and struggle. It claims to seek equality. Women’s Studies as a discipline is a recruitment device as well as an educational tool about feminism and women’s rights. But the discipline is unofficially geared towards females only. It couldn’t be documented that men are not allowed to take the courses as that would be sexist, instead it purveys this through its discourse.

Thursday morning, 9:20 A.M. I stumble into class with my tea in hand and find my seat. I’m one of two men, but I’m not uncomfortable. My laptop is ready to take notes (and occasionally check Facebook) and I’m gabbing with my neighbour about the plight of university students. The professor walks in, greets us students, and beings talking about the current chapter we’re discussing, “what are some key concepts in this chapter?” Not only is this redundant as we’ve all read it, its condescending, I feel like I’m in elementary school.

I do my best to pay attention, take notes, and partake in class discussion. But here is where it gets difficult. The professor continues professing and begins to speak to the class, not the text. “What is it WE women should do? How do WE feel when men do this? How does this impact US?” I’m automatically, consciously or not, excluded from all class discussion and feminism. Now I feel uncomfortable. I don’t belong here, at least I’m lead to feel this way.

I don’t understand how this discourse has continued into the 21st century. I can understand the angst many first wave feminists held as they were very radical for their time. In contemporary time to advance one’s cause, or social movement, one must frame it in a way which includes the most people it can. Excluding 48% of the population does not help not to mention its paradoxical that such a project of equality is treating men unequally. To achieve true equality, it must apply to everyone.

To further support this point, we (the class) received a hand out this week which reads, and I quote, “questions might ask for clarification about how the author sees a connection between her experience and a theoretical concept…” Her. I no longer have to do this assignment, it doesn’t pertain to me, I’m a male. Plus, it’s sexist. Feminism has in the past advocated for gender neutral terms in things such as forms where one now sees his/her, him/her, her/his, s/he, etc. Why has a course preaching feminism disregarded its very own objective?

Aside from a gynocentric discourse, it’s also repulsively heteronormative (at least this intro course, but still, it’s no excuse). All examples, anecdotes, and texts in this class reference only female and male relationships. A man is always referenced as having a woman, wife, girlfriend, or the ilk. Men are only spoken of as heterosexual, so are women. I was expecting some sort of lesbian feminism or critique to come up in the readings or discussion; if it did it must have been a quick utterance I missed. Is the project of feminism not to liberate and achieve equality for all (women)?

I’m very dissatisfied with this course. Its very conservative and redundant. Everything covered should already be common knowledge to anyone who has some sort of education, formal or not. Most importantly, I’m very dissatisfied with this course as it alienates me in two ways: by means of sexuality and sex.

I now see why Men's Studies exists. Too bad its not offered at the University of Alberta.

A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men. ~ Gloria Steinem, founder of Ms. Magazine, leader of the Women's Movement

If only Gloria knew...

Its been a month!

I have been very busy with school in October then contracted H1N1 earlier this month. I'm working on an essay on the framing of the gay marriage movement in the US... I will post it when I'm done!

"Passing becomes the outward manifestation of shame and capitulation. Passing becomes silence. Passing becomes invisibility. Passing becomes lies!" - Kate Bornstein

The Liminality of Bisexuality

I'm gay, therefore I'm only sexually attracted to men. Someone who is straight is only attracted to the opposite sex. Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes. That sounds pretty obvious and grossly over simplified, especially if you're reading my blog, yet bisexuality remains heavily stigmatized and proves to be a liminal identity.

We've all heard of sexual orientation as being a spectrum, yet it remains a binary of heterosexual and homosexual. Those in the middle, bisexuals only for this example, are delegitimized and discounted as being closeted homosexuals. Its a fair to posit that women have a bit more freedom with bisexuality, yet men don't. Why? Masculinity, in one word. Possibly one of the worst things to happen to our society, haha just kidding!

Hegemonic masculinity is an exclusive club of men where admission is dependent on one's adherence to masculine norms including compulsive heterosexuality, machismo, and partaking in other typical masculine activities. The problem then for male bisexuality is it breaks the compulsive heterosexuality requirement--he has sex with men! But, bisexuality has a foot on both sides of the line with attractions to both sexes which challenge the tenets of hegemonic masculinity threatening to further destabilize the already crumbling pillar of hegemonic masculine male heterosexuality.

When men are threatened they're socialized to protect themselves and others from the perceived threat. Here lies part of the root of homophobia and heterosexism, the gender and sexually variant become stigmatized, discriminated upon, oppressed, and in many cases at risk of physical assault. All of this because some men feel threatened. All of this because some men are insecure in their sexuality.

This form of masculinity is only one aspect of a much larger constellation of gender and sexuality interactions responsible for the stigmatization and oppression of women, bisexuals, homosexuals, and queers.